So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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