it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
