He is an equal opportunity slut.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
