we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
