I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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