I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
