well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
