Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So much rum. So many feels.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
