thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
