There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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