just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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