Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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