I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
