The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
