You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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