Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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