I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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