you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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