Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
