make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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