I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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