I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
time to smoke my breakfast
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
