i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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