Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
