Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
no you cant smoke seaweed
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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