My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
