I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
