I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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