keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
