i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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