Sponge bath it is.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
