Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize