is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
