She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize