Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
