Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize