Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
