I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if only i could text you this smell
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize