there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
