He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
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We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
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I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize