Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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