if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
