When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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