My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
