i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
