another moral hangover. fuck.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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