standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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