i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Floor bacon is actually really good
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
