youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
