You're completely useless in the revolution.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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