is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
