I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
