Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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