I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
