I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
