I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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