You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
