1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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