marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
