No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
